HAHT! HI EVERY1! TODEY ON THE SHOW WE GOT JAWN EDWORD U NO THAT SYCHIC HES HELLA SMART AN KNOZ EVRYTHING I TELL HIM TO KNO! HAHT! HAHT! ALRITE!

   

 

Mr. Edwards: Thank you, Peewee.  Tonight we are going to summon the spirit of the recently deceased Steve Irwin, aka The Crocodile Hunter.  Before I summon Mr. Irwin, I shall need an audience to encourage me.  I will also need the blood of 4 australian virgins and one of Paris Hilton's pubic hairs.

 

WELL IM A VIRJEN AN I HAV BLOND PUBES SO I GESS THAT WIL WURK HUH

 

Yon Edwards: Sure, I guess if you can simulate while I stimulate...

 

WOT.

 

Ed: ANYWAYS! So what I'll need the audience to do is chant this spell:

Irwin Irwin!

Tackle that snake!

For if you don't!

I'll hit you with a rake!

 

Audience:

Irwin Irwin!

Tackle that snake!

For if you don't!

I'll hit you with a rake!

 

Irwin Irwin!

Tackle that snake!

For if you don't!

I'll hit you with a rake!

 

Jonathan: YES! YES!! CAN YOU FEEL IT? I SENSE THE AUSSIE IS RECKONING. QUICK, DOES ANYBODY HAVE SOME AUSSIE SHAMPOO TO FEED TO IRWIN!? WE'LL NEED IT AS AN ANCHOR TO CONNECT OUR OPPOSITE DIMENSION PORTALS!

 

Patron: I do!

 

THANKS! I'LL JUST POUR SOME IN THE APPROXIMATE AREA.

 

Patron: You're a psychic you should know where the area is exactly.

 

Edwards: Im sensing an asshole in the audience. He's... he's the one that just gave me the Aussie shampoo.

 

Patron: dude nvm ur hella real how could u kno that i'll sit down now. wtvr.

 

 

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRZZZZHHHHHHHHHH BOOP!

Steve: AYE ELLO THEAH MATES! CROYKEY HOW ARE YEH DOIN!?

 

AHHHHH!1 THAT GYZ DED!! SHIT! HAHT! PUT DAT SHRIMP BAK ON DA BARBY LOL!!!!! HAHT! OH FUCK!

 

John E: MR. REUBENSKI, DO NOT BE AFRAID. THIS IS THE VERY SAME STEVE IRWIN HE WAS BEFORE DEATH.

 

AHHHH!! RU GUNNA SUCK ME INTO A TV LYKE ON THA POLITERGAYST!!!!=0

 

 

Steve: NAH THAH BILLY, ONLI IF UR A ONE OF THEM STING RAYS!!!!!! MIGHTY NASTY LIT'L BUGGERS THOSE'RE!

 

Patron: What about octopusses?

 

Steve: AYE! WHY BEFOA' I WAS THE CROC HUNTAH I WAS THA GREATEST OCTOPUSSIAST AROUND! I FOUGHT THEM FOR DAYS I TELL YA!

 

 

 

 

 

HEA'S ME FIGHTIN ONE OF EM!! BAK WEN I HAD BRUNETTE 'AIR!! PRETTY SEXY EH!?

 

 

AHH HAHT WTF STEVE UR GIRLY!! HAHT!

 

 

 

Steve: AYE, THAT WAS CUZ OF TH' ADKINS DIET!!!

 

 

SO ANYWAYS, I WAS FOYTIN TIS CANTERVILLE GHOST AND THE CUT MAN CAPER AND WATCHIN SCARY MOVIEZ WIT MAI FREN PAUL HOGAN NAD THN GEORGE BUSH DECLARED WAR ON THE BOOGEY MAN!! OOOYYYY THAT WAS A HELL OF A TIME UNTIL HE INSTATED A DRAFT THEN PUSSY PATTAH SHE CAME ALONG AND SED "HAY BOO LETZ GO SWIMMIN" SO I DID AND NOW I'M DEAD! HAHHA ISN'T THAT A STORY HEY WHERE'D JOHN EDWARDS GO!? I WANNA GO BACK HOME!

 

 

John: *fapfapfapfapfap* oooh...oh..OHHH...AHHHOHHHH GODD MARGARET THATCHER OH GOD

 

  Patron: Dude im leaving.

 

THATZ IT FOR NOW EVERIBUDDY SUCK MAI DICK BYE

 

*que theme music*

 

 

This Is Program Supported By Viewers Like You And The Margaret Thatcher Pipe Cleaner Look-Alikes Of America Foundation.